Poikiloderma of Civatte

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Well, bugger. I'm pretty sure I've figured out what is going on with the skin on my neck and chest, and it isn't simple aging. Well yes, it is aging, but something else added on.

I grew up in the desert southwest, and sometimes used sunscreen. I didn't diligently start using sunscreen until I was in my late teens, although I wasn't an avid sunbather. I have strawberry blond hair, blue eyes, and fair skin, so a deep golden tan just wasn't in the cards for me. But I did get my share of sunburns.

When I did start to regularly use sunscreen, I focused on my face. I really didn't pay any attention to my neck or chest. Weeeell, now I'm seeing the consequences.

My oldest son had a lacrosse tournament yesterday in Santa Cruz. It was a beautiful sunny day in a gorgeous beach town, about 80 degrees with a nice ocean breeze. I was prepared...lots of sunscreen and a very wide brimmed straw sun hat, long sleeves. When we got home around 10pm last night, I took a sho…

It's Time to Hit the Reset Button!

Yes, it's time. Time to really get back into focus. For over 13 years now I've been living for other people (pregnancy, children, husband, parents), and really neglecting myself. I just had my 46th birthday a couple of weeks ago, and it dawned on me that, if I'm lucky and make into my 90s, my life is half over. Gotta get it together.

I'm at my highest weight now, 212 as of this morning. At 5'10", that puts me barely over the "overweight" category in the BMI chart and into "obese". Oy. I've fluctuated around this weight for about 4 years now. Prior to that, my weight and fitness level were all over the charts after the birth of my twins in 2006. And prior to 2006, I was in the best shape of my life after giving birth to my first son in 2001, with my weight around 145-150! So I really have been all over the place.

With this blog I hope to finally hit that reset button, and bring myself back into a place of taking care of and nurturing my physical, emotional, and spiritual health. After over a decade of focusing my energies outward, it's time to bring it back in. 

I want to feel like I can keep up with my beautiful children as they grow older and come into their own. I want to be fit and healthy as I start the downward slide toward 50. I want to enjoy optimum health when I enter my menopause years (I'm not quite at that stage yet, but I will be soon, no doubt!). Most importantly, I want to feel content to be in my own skin.

So...I'm taking a big step by putting this out there. Here is me, 46 years old, 5'10", 212 lbs:


I have never, ever posted a picture of myself this way. I'm almost having a panic attack by doing this. Even though I'm creating this blog anonymously (for now, at least), and no one may ever even venture across this blog in order to see this picture, I'm terrified to actually take off my shields and make myself vulnerable in this manner. But this way, I will hopefully be able to keep myself accountable, not make excuses, and do what needs to be done.


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